It is that time of year when the cosmos whispers a reminder that you should reflect on what you have done and look forward to another 12-month cycle. Here are some tips to make the most out of your New Year’s resolutions

It is New Year again – that went quickly! Like many people, I’m setting resolutions for the next year. Standing at the portal of a new year is an excellent place for reflection and anticipation. Somewhere between delight, denial and desperation lie last year’s resolutions and somewhere between dread and determination lie the goals for the new year. If you are used to setting resolutions that last no more than a week, or you are tired of them re-appearing on your list year after year with no progress, maybe it is time to do something a little differently.

Here are five requirements to ensure that anyone can successfully achieve resolutions.

1. Resolutions require time and space.

There’s a good reason why people always set their resolutions at New Year – they are usually on holiday. Away from work pressure and the noise of everyday living, they find a moment of silence in which to think. Time and space are required to get your brain to focus on yourself and what is important to you. You need to be able to switch off the noise and the distractions and just be grounded for a while. This can happen while floating in the sea, sitting under a tree or huddled around a fire.

The best results come from solitude, even if only for an hour or two. You’ll often feel most inspired when you are out of your regular routine, whether attending a workshop, conference, or a retreat. That is because you are telling yourself “this is a special time”. You are gearing up to think expansively and to forget the chores, routines and pressures of a typical workday.  The fact that you have told yourself that this is a particular time allows your mind to wander and to block out intrusive and mundane thoughts. You have just given yourself permission to be creative and to slip momentarily into a zone of reflection. The same thing happens around New Year. You set aside time to think and reflect, and everyone around you gives you space and time to do this. 

Around Christmas I can lock the door and say, “don’t come in!” and people will assume I am wrapping presents and leave me alone for hours! Much the same applies at New Year – it is your special time: claim it, protect it and insist on it. You’ll have to grant others the same luxury, but it may be the most important hour you spend all year.

2. Resolutions require perspective.

Now that you are alone and have wrestled an hour or two for yourself, you have a lot of thinking to do. Some call it daydreaming, others fantasizing – it requires a projection of yourself into a future state that allows you to imagine yourself in your ideal world. The best resolutions are ones that stem from a broader perspective. Not so much “what I want to achieve in the next 12 months” but rather “what I want to achieve in this life”. WOW that sounds scary and profound! It is, and it isn’t.

As with any major decision, the “little stuff” is easy to forget about if it is not linked to a higher purpose. For example, if you set a goal of “lose 5 kg” it makes more sense if you understand why you want to lose 5 kg. So, to quote Simon Sinek, start with the “why”. Maybe your goal should be to enjoy a healthier life or to live longer and to do that you could lose 5 kg and eat better. At least now you have an understanding of why the 5 kg matters and what the consequences are of not achieving the little goal.

Let’s start by writing down some BIG goals. These are things for your bucket list. These are things you want to achieve by the time you expire (if you get to choose when that is). To start, think about all aspects of your life such as family, career, health, wealth, leisure, education, charity, faith, environment, community. Now, jot down a few things you want to achieve in each category. Remember this does not all need to be completed in 12 months! Select those that matter most to you. An excellent exercise (I know it’s a bit morbid) is to write your own obituary; now that gives a lot of perspective! Now that you have some ideas about life goals, you also have the categories under which you can set shorter-term goals. Let’s break those BIG goals into what you think can realistically be achieved in the next five years.

Next, break the five-year goals into what you think can realistically be achieved in the next 12 months. Suddenly your goals have purpose and direction and a bigger plan to justify the little actions you need to perform each day. You’d be surprised at how few people have a set of life goals. It is not something that is cast in stone, obviously, things change, and you need to make adjustments, but at least you have a long-term perspective which can guide you. Imagine setting up life goals as a teenager – how much more direction your life would have.

3. Resolutions require accurate metrics.

“Metrics” is a terrible word. It sounds like the accountant is asking you to draw up a spreadsheet. It seems finite, pre-determined and immovable. Sorry, but a goal is only a goal if you know when you have achieved it. Let’s go back to our example above, if we say “lose some weight” then anything between complete starvation for a month and taking a good pee would qualify! Metrics help you measure. They help you track progress and allow you to celebrate when you have achieved your goal. There’s an old saying “you cannot manage what you cannot measure” – probably not by Mark Twain.

We all know that goals need to be SMART – Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Timebound. Some people add Evaluated and Reviewed to make SMARTER. Now, using the SMARTER methodology for each of your life-, five-year and 12-months goals could turn your fireside daydream into a massive undertaking! It could also drain the life out of you, spoil the moment and have you reaching for the eggnog. There will be time enough for embellishing your life goals, but in the short term just answer the following question for each of the goals you set for the next 12 months “how will I know when I have achieved this goal?” This does not need to be a number. It could be a feeling, it could be changed behaviour, and it could also be a number. “Greet my co-workers every day” is a metric – it is something you can tick off. At some point in the next four weeks set yourself a task of compiling that dreaded, massive table with more detailed metrics for every goal on your bucket list. Save it and keep a printed copy somewhere visible.

4. Resolutions require integration.

What you think, what you do, how you behave, how you feel all form part of you. And you, in turn, form part of several systems around you; your family, your workplace, your relationships in the community – the list could be endless. You are a part of a greater system which is why we used the categories earlier to set life goals. Each of the groups has at least one system of which you form part. If you complete the sentence “I am a…” you could add many words: mother, student, caregiver, adult, accountant, runner, athlete, artist, thinker, leader, patient, and so on. Each of these represents a system in your world.

Our resolutions have an impact on ourselves, and on each of the systems we interact with. Each of these systems has its own goals, and we play a particular role in each system, and there are expectations of us in each role. If I am a father, then there is a range of expectations of me in that role and in that system. My goals may include being a better father by spending X number of hours a day with my daughter. This goal needs to be integrated with her expectations, availability, proximity etc. The point is that we do not exist in a vacuum, and neither should our goals. Share your goals with those who they will affect. Discuss your goals with the people from whom you will need support. Ask for feedback from those closest to you and explain the BIG goals that inspired the little ones. This will help get everyone on board and may inspire others in various networks to consider their own objectives and direction.

5. Resolutions require change.

Some people may be on track with their life goals and may be working steadily towards their mission in life. For most of us, our current state is somewhat removed from our ideal state, and we realise that we need to make adjustments, we need to change. My next blog post is all about why it is so difficult to change. It is enough to say here that we cannot expect a different outcome by doing the same things we have always done. For most people, change is not easy, and they avoid it at all costs. There are also thousands of clichés about change which I will not repeat. Suffice to say that change will not go away and that perfect stasis simply does not exist. To achieve our goals, we need to change. If change is a constant (sorry), then we had better start developing a “change literacy”. Look back at your goals and think about how much change each requires. If the answer is “not much, just keep doing what you are doing” you should be worried, or you have selected either the wrong goal or the wrong metric.

That’s it –  well done. You now have a list of things to change in the next 12 months with an additional horizon of five years and a set of or life goals. Not bad for two hours on the beach. You may have missed out on a game of golf, but you may also have changed your life and got a great tan.

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