It’s Lonely at the Top – But It Doesn’t Have To Be

When you’re at the top, there’s often no one to share the weight of tough decisions, the uncertainty behind confident fronts, or the pressure of being the one everyone relies on. In SMEs, where resources are lean and roles are personal, that sense of loneliness can be even more pronounced. Yet acknowledging this reality is the first step toward building stronger support, a clearer perspective, and more resilient leadership.

The isolation felt by company leaders is well-documented. Being responsible for a wide range of people, enormous budgets, high-stakes decisions, and commercially sensitive information places huge pressure on Fortune 500 CEOs.

While they may have advisors and technical specialists in the organisation that can provide information to guide their decision-making, many CEOs report feeling isolated.

A Harvard Business Review article put the figure at 55%.

This is as relevant to smaller business owners. Despite the perception that the stakes are lower and, therefore, the pressure can’t be as intense, the opposite is often true. While the Fortune 500 CEO’s decisions could impact the stock price and cost the company billions of dollars, their personal security is not at stake. They may have to face humiliation, and they may lose this particular job, but, unlike the small business owner, they won’t lose their house or the personal investment they have made in the business.

For SME owners, there are fewer people they can talk to because the business is smaller and the hierarchy typically flat. They can’t discuss their business with mates on the golf course because the issues could be commercially sensitive or could revolve around an individual employee, and that could be sensitive. Their life partner, though sympathetic, may not always want to get into the nitty gritty of the business because they may have their own business or career concerns.

The impact on the health of the individual, whether they are a corporate CEO or a SME owner, remains the same.

Making decisions under pressure and in isolation, usually with insufficient information, causes chronic stress. This is a vicious circle, because decision-making under such circumstances is usually poor, which results in difficult consequences – leading to more stress. Only James Bond makes great decisions under high-stress situations.

Kelli Thompson reports in Fast Company that research shows that under high-stress “the brain shifts from thoughtful, deliberate thinking to more automatic, emotion-driven responses. This makes leaders more vulnerable to biased or short-term choices.” But other research showed that a supportive social structure helps leaders make better decisions.

Finding a reliable, informed, committed advisor can be crucial for leaders of companies, no matter their size.

It may be more difficult for SMEs to find such people internally, but that’s where a reputable business consultant/coach comes in. A good consultant is as committed to the company as the owner, but they are less blinkered than shareholders. They know the finest details of the company’s operations, but can maintain a clear perspective because they are not invested in the company. Most Oxygen8 consultants report that, over time, they provide as much individual, personal support and coaching to the business owner as they provide financial or operational advice about the business. Our first priority will always be the well-being of the owner and how we can support them in their quest for their ideal life.

Building a mountain one grain of sand at a time

Huge achievements can come from small, consistent gains across your business.

When working with clients, we always start with a long view of what they want to achieve. We focus on a five-year plan and then work backwards, breaking up the larger goals into smaller, manageable steps. These steps cover everything from business operations to marketing, from managing people to increasing sales. But inevitably, the clients are concerned when they see the annual increase in the budget. This could be an increase of around 15-30% of revenue which could result in an increase of around 10-15% on the bottom line. While they are thrilled by the prospect, it does seem a big ask. What they imagine is a price increase of 15%, or an increase of productivity by 15%, or a reduction of costs by 15%. They imagine that they need to find the solution in one part of the business.

At times like this, I like to refer to the work of James Clear, the best-selling author of a book entitled “Atomic Habits”. James focuses on behavioural change through creating positive habits, which leads to better decision making. In his book, he tells the following story about how a huge number (such as 15%) can be achieved through small, incremental changes.

He tells the story of how the fate of British Cycling changed one day in 2003 when Dave Brailsford was hired as its new performance director. At the time, professional cyclists in Great Britain had endured nearly one hundred years of below-average performance.

The untouchables

Since 1908, British riders had won just a single gold medal at the Olympic Games, and they had fared even worse in cycling’s biggest race, the Tour de France. In 110 years, no British cyclist had ever won the event. Getting sponsorship was, understandably, a big challenge. The downward trajectory is usually catastrophic not only for the team but also for the sport as a whole because fewer young cyclists are inspired to participate, which reduces the talent pool and this reduces the chances of future success. Brailsford had a mountain to climb – and he did not have the luxury of starting “at ground level” – he had to undo years of negativity and disillusionment.

“What made him different from previous coaches was his relentless commitment to a strategy that he referred to as ‘the aggregation of marginal gains,’ which was the philosophy of searching for a tiny margin of improvement in everything you do. Brailsford said, ‘The whole principle came from the idea that if you broke down everything you could think of that goes into riding a bike and then improve it by 1 percent, you will get a significant increase when you put them all together.’”

He began by making small adjustments to every aspect of racing, from the equipment to the cyclists themselves to the cycling environment – seeking at least a 1% improvement in everything they did. Here are some examples:

“They redesigned the bike seats to make them more comfortable and rubbed alcohol on the tyres for a better grip. They asked riders to wear electrically heated over shorts to maintain ideal muscle temperature while riding and used biofeedback sensors to monitor how each athlete responded to a particular workout. The team tested various fabrics in a wind tunnel and had their outdoor riders switch to indoor racing suits, which proved to be lighter and more aerodynamic. They tested different types of massage gels to see which one led to the fastest muscle recovery. They hired a surgeon to teach each rider the best way to wash their hands to reduce the chances of catching a cold. They determined the type of pillow and mattress that led to the best night’s sleep for each rider. They even painted the inside of the team truck white, which helped them spot little bits of dust that would normally slip by unnoticed but could degrade the performance of the finely tuned bikes.”

Gaining momentum

The accumulation of these micro-improvements started delivering results – fast. And the improvement continued for many years. From being a national embarrassment, the team became legendary.

“During the ten-year span from 2007 to 2017, British cyclists won 178 world championships and 66 Olympic or Paralympic gold medals and captured 5 Tour de France victories in what is widely regarded as the most successful run in cycling history.”

We apply the same principles to any business. We do not need to create a 15% improvement in any one part of the business. Instead, we need to find 15 places where we can improve the business by at least 1%. That is usually a much more achievable goal. This aggregation of marginal gains has an exponential effect on improvement. The inverse is also true. By tolerating a 1% decline (day after day, month after month), the business can very quickly spiral out of control into a poorly performing mess.

Making time – how I get more out of a finite resource

Self-discipline and a good memory – are these the keys to great time management and efficiency? I have neither, so I used tools to help me manage my time – you might find them useful too.

My memory is poor and has always been – it has nothing to do with age (in my case). For as long as I can remember (!) I have devised ways to help me remember things, names, places. I used to carry little pieces of note paper in my pockets to remind me of things I needed to do. I always carried a pen and a piece of paper in case I thought of something. In any conversation I would likely scribble something down. Business was good for stationers and paper merchants with me around!

Over time, I developed more sophisticated coping mechanisms by using available technology. This is the story of how I learnt to manage time. You may find it very basic and obvious, but it took me many years to make the most of my time. This is what has worked for me:

Step 1: Get it out of your head

At some stage, I realised that my mind had limited RAM and that if I tried to remember everything, I would have little computing power left for anything else. I would walk around repeating my to-do list to myself (silently, of course!). Then I started using the first great aid: The List. What a huge relief it was to have something written down. This left room for more important thoughts. I was in ‘list mode’ for many years; I even had a list next to my bed… just in case.

Judging by the number of to-do list apps, I am not the only one who needs to make lists. Microsoft Tasks, Google Keep notes, To-doist and many others have varying levels of sophistication, prices, integration and shareability. As a family we use Google Keep for our communal shopping list, it is excellent and free.

Step 2: Prioritise

A shopping list is great because it lists everything you need to buy when you get to the shops – genius! But it is a list of things you can do in one place at one time. Life and work are not that simple; there are tasks of varying importance, with different deadlines, some work-related, some personal – it can quickly become a right royal mess.

If we prioritise, things start making more sense. Even though it is possible (even easy) to scan through a list and find your highest priority, it is better not to do this in the heat of the moment. I’m a firm believer in using Stephen Covey’s time management matrix to prioritize my to-do list.

Step 3: Set a deadline

As an ex-journalist I have a healthy respect for deadlines. If you commit to delivering a task on a deadline it gives certainty – the deadline is a non-negotiable ‘line in the sand’.

The first problem with deadlines is that they indicate when a task needs to be completed, not when it should be started. The second is that Friday 5pm tends to be the accumulation point of every deadline for the week and these tasks are typically started at 4:45pm on a Friday afternoon! Have you ever had a long list that has surreptitiously sneaked through every day of the week completely untouched? Like dirty laundry, these tasks accumulate in a nasty, smelly pile. This is how deadlines become dead lions.

Step 4: Sequence and duration

Tasks find a spot in a sequence when you determine priorities. Now estimate the duration. How long should it take?

You should now have:

Deadline
Priority
Sequence
Duration

Step 5: Create a schedule

The next step is to create a calendar, in other words, convert the task into an appointment with an allocated time and place. Now, it is a manageable item.

Like to-do lists, there are several scheduling apps. My favourite is Click-Up which integrates with any calendar, allows collaboration, can easily flip into a Gantt chart and has list, tabs, cards, and calendar views.

Step 6: Respect the schedule

A schedule is great, but what happens when life interferes? A sick child can destroy the best laid plans. A production crisis can mess up a perfect plan. A pandemic can be a tad disruptive.

It is at these times that a schedule comes into its own. A schedule can be reorganised because it is a detailed picture of what needs to be done. Think of it as Tetris; you know what shape you have, you just need to find a gap that matches, in the same way, tasks can be moved and redistributed.

No matter how detailed and beautiful, a schedule is a waste of time if you don’t use it. If there’s a task to be done, do it. Start on time and aim to finish ahead of time.

How to tell good apples from bad apples – assessing the quality of a business consultant

“Consulting” is is a broad term which covers many possible services delivered by people with a wide range of skills. Unfortunately, it is also sometimes used by people who have few skills and ill intent. How can you tell the difference?

In a previous blog (Snake oil salesman or saviour? What does a business consultant do?)

I spoke about the hold-all term “business consultant” and that it could be used by anyone to describe almost any business service. I equated it to another well-known hold-all term, “lawyer”.

There are some very important differences between the hold-all terms “lawyer” and “business consultant”. Not everyone can call themselves a lawyer. Using the term usually implies a set of qualifications as well as experience. Lawyers have to attend a university to get a legal qualification – this acquaints them with legal principles. There’s usually a period of “articles” – an internship with an established law firm where they learn the ropes of legal practice.

Lawyers in most countries also have to maintain registration with a professional body that ensures they are acting honestly and that abide by a set of best-practice guidelines. The professional body might require the lawyers to prove that they remain “current” with the latest legislation. Much the same set of principles apply to medical practitioners (another hold-all term).

Sadly, the same standards do not apply to business consultants. They come in all shapes and sizes and, unfortunately, the quality of their services differs significantly. There is no universal set of standards to which a business consultant has to conform. There’s no way to tell upfront whether you are dealing with a good apple or a bad apple. More’s the pity.

Managed properly, a consulting relationship is a lasting relationship, so it pays to have a good working relationship with the consultant.

But there are some ways in which you can predict the quality of a business consultant. Here are six suggestions:

Consider the chemistry: consulting is a close relationship. A consultant gets to know more about you and your business than almost any other business professional you’ll encounter. Whether they are good or bad, you have to make sure you can get along with them. The communication should be fluid; you should be “on the same page”. You should be able to understand each other’s frames of reference and have a similar set of values. Managed properly, a consulting relationship is a lasting relationship, so it pays to have a good working relationship with the consultant.
Check their experience: Skills, experience and know-how are the cornerstones of a consulting relationship. You are using the consultant because they have the skills, experience or time that you do not. You have every right to check the quality of that experience. Ask for a CV, look at their LinkedIn profile, probe the details of their experience until you are satisfied that they can do what you need to get done. There’s a warning here: no one knows your business better than you. When testing their experience, look for what they know about the problem you need to be solved – not about their knowledge of your business or possibly even your business. If you run a tyre shop and your main challenge is marketing, look for a marketing expert, not someone who has necessarily worked in a tyre shop.
Ask for references: Testimonials are the only thing a consultant can point to for a track record. Ask the consultant to provide the names and contact details of a few happy customers and call them to ask about the process, the experience and the outcomes of their engagement with eh consultant.
Look at their process: Good consultants don’t fly by the seat of their pants; they have a tried and tested process. This process could be adapted for each new situation, but good consultants have a methodology that guides them in analysing a business, diagnosing the shortcoming and crafting a set of solutions. Ask to see the process and make sure you understand every aspect of it. If you can understand it, you can contribute to making it work.
Look at their backup: Consultants are sometimes one-man bands; some work in teams, others are part of large corporations. Whichever category your consultant fits into, ask them about their “backup”, i.e., who do they call on when they don’t have the answers. Do they have a strong network of advisers and specialists? Are they part of a broader team? Can they connect you quickly with specialists if needed?
Look at the price tag: this is a contentious issue. There is no set price for a consultant’s services, and a price check will show you a huge range. You should be satisfied that the benefit exceeds the cost of the service. The fees should be shown in relation to the outcome: how will your business look after the intervention? What will the value of the business be? A good consultant will often link their fees to the performance of the business because they are confident in the outcomes they are likely to achieve.

These methods will go a long way towards giving you some assurance that you’ve selected the right consultant. There’s no guarantee, but by asking the right questions, you are likely to tell the good apples from the bad.

Snake oil salesman or saviour? What does a business consultant do?

Everyone knows what a dentist does. There’s no doubt about the role of a butcher, pharmacist, plumber or librarian. But mention “business consultant”, and there’s inevitably a frown emerging on the face of the person you’re talking to. That’s because “business consultant” is a hold-all term that is not clearly defined and which is used indiscriminately by people who range from good, indifferent to rip-off!

There are other hold-all terms such as “lawyer”. This could be anyone from a commercial lawyer dealing with commercial contracts and business issues, a tax lawyer, a family lawyer (think divorces), a barrister and a judge. Technically they all have to do with the law and can use the term “lawyer”, but there is a range of specialisations within the broader term.

The same can be said about business consultants: they could cover anything from serving on company boards to providing advice on financial, accounting, marketing, HR and production issues. Whatever their specialisation, business consultants provide business advice. Their “product” is advice. The service they provide is to advise the company on the best course of action.

So, even though there are many varieties of them (and the quality of their services is variable), what do they actually do?

A business consultant is usually an experienced business practitioner who is able to provide advice on improving the performance of a business. That is the essence. How they go about it differs tremendously.

Quite often, a business owner will turn to a consultant when things go wrong or when they want a achieve a specific outcome in their business, but they lack the skills, time or experience to get the job done. A business consultant is a person who has skills, experience and know-how for sale. They have done it before, they can advise the business owner on the best way to achieve the outcome, and they can work with the owner not only to achieve the outcome but, in so doing, transfer those skills to the owner, empowering them in the process. Done properly, an interaction with a business consultant is a learning experience that involves guidance as well as a transfer of skills and knowledge.

Done properly, an interaction with a business consultant is a learning experience that involves guidance as well as a transfer of skills and knowledge.

A good business consultant will use a tried and tested process to identify the areas of the business which need attention. In deep consultation with the business owner, they will “look under the hood” of the business, ask questions, review the processes, conduct interviews with staff and the management team, review the financials, and probe a range of aspects that will give them a clear understanding of the problem. Relying on their skills, their experience, a solutions process or possibly with the assistance of an external expert, they will put together a comprehensive plan for solving the problem. This plan should clearly identify the problem, the proposed solution (or a range of solutions), the costs involved in solving the problem as well as a clear timeline.

Many consultants stop the process right there: they produce a plan (or report), slap it on the table with their invoice and walk briskly into the blue yonder. That’s half the job done and a guarantee that the plan will fail.

Most business plans fall over on implementation. A journey is not complete just because you have bought a map – you actually have to set out and start walking. All too frequently, a business plan is left lying on the shelf to gather dust – unless there is a champion who can keep every one of the participants accountable for delivering their part. One of the most critical roles of a consultant is ensuring that the plan is implemented.

The process they use to implement the plan should involve regular feedback, a visible report on progress, on-going management of the project (if it is a project) and motivating all parties to keep delivering.

Not sure how to tell if a consultant is worth it? Read my next blog, “How to tell good apples from bad apples – assessing the quality of a business consultant”.

The winning formula for outstanding performance

What influences workplace performance? How can we make sure that we motivate people to do great work without becoming a dictator?

Becoming a dictator is guaranteed to bring out the worst in your employees. If they feel that they are working under duress, they will probably show resistance or “work to rule” – in other words, stick to the letter of the contract and do the absolute minimum to avoid getting fired. We’re looking for discretionary effort, which is “going above and beyond” what their employment contract states.

What are the components of meaningful targets (goals), and how can we apply these in the workplace? Edwin Locke and Gary Latham spent decades working on goal-setting theory, and most of their data is derived from workplace studies. Over decades of research, they investigated, tested and refined a model which they believed would ensure the best possible performance in the workplace.

Setting the right kind of goals is very important. If the goals are too tough, the people will not even bother to try to achieve them. If they are too easy, they’ll also not put in much effort. But if the goals are a stretch, you’d think that would be ideal, right? Only sometimes.

There are many variables that influence performance in the workplace. Here are just four of them:

The reason for the goal: If you explain carefully to your team that you’d like them to work extra-hard and improve their current performance by 120% so that you can buy a new Ferrari, the chances are you’ll be disappointed. The rationale for the goal needs to be explained and motivated. And the motivation needs to resonate with what the people want to achieve rather than the boss’s need to stroke a battered ego.

Reward resonance: The reward has to be appealing to the person performing the task or aiming for the stretch goal. In some cases, there is sufficient internal motivation for someone just to try harder to see if they can reach the goal (even without a reward). While this is great, it can rarely be sustained. If there is a reward for achieving the goal, the chances of success are greater. But the rewards have to matter to the person doing the work. It does not always have to be more money, but the reward has to be personally meaningful to them. Time off, a change in duties, a beer on Friday, all of these are things that could be motivating factors. The best option is to ask the person what would be an appropriate reward for them.

Participative goal setting: Get everyone involved in setting the goal – right? Not necessarily. There were many experiments around this point because the results were conflicting. In most cases, the goals set by individuals resulted in poorer performance than reasonable stretch goals set by their leaders. Only in cases where the goals and rewards were clearly explained was there a better result (and only fractionally better), and that was in the level of motivation rather than the outcome. So the message is to discuss the goal and agree on a valuable reward rather than letting the person set the goal themselves.

Self-efficacy: The single most significant variable in goal achievement is self-efficacy, which is a social scientific term for “believing you can do it”. This factor, more than any other, influenced the performance of individuals. This is the area which sports coaches spend the most time on: “Getting into the heads” of the athletes and letting them believe that they can do better. The same applies to the workplace. Self-efficacy is a complex thing because it is influenced by a number of other factors such as whether the person has done the task before, what other pressures exist (such as a deadline), what resources are available to help them learn or to help them come up with strategies to complete the task. The role of the manager/leader is critical in motivating the person and in terms of giving them the tools they need to succeed. Those tools could be physical, peer support, time, money, or any other resources available.

Next time you need to achieve a goal with your team that will be a stretch, your chances of success will be greatest if you start by explaining the rationale for the goal (this can be a corporate objective) then discussing the rewards (“What’s in it for me”), then explaining the goal itself in great detail before talking about all the reasons you believe the person or the team can achieve the goal. What are you going to do to help them achieve it? You could also ask them what they think they’ll need in order to make the task more achievable. And, whatever you do, stick to your promises. A broken promise (especially in relation to rewards or support) will spell doom for the next time you ask the team to go above and beyond.

Locke, E. A., & Latham, G. P. (2002). Building a practically useful theory of goal setting and task motivation. A 35-year odyssey. American Psychologist, 57(9), 705–717. https://doi.org/10.1037//0003-066X.57.9.705

Why “Do your best” is the worst advice

You probably heard the phrase as a child or, if you are a parent, have used it to encourage a reluctant youngster to do something they dread. Science has shown that it is terrible advice to give anyone at home or at work.

Picture the scene: young Amy has been told she has to run a 100m race. She hates the thought because she will probably lose, and she doesn’t warm to the prospect of finishing but not being on the podium. So, she’d rather not participate at all. How could we motivate her?

There are several options, and the best one mostly depends on Amy’s personality and the circumstances in which the race is taking place. We could encourage her to compete and assure her of our support and love, no matter where she finishes. We go hard-ball and psych her up with “you can do this!” accompanied by fist pumps and gorilla-like gestures – that may motivate her (but try not to do this where any of her friends can see you – she’d die of embarrassment. However, if we say to Amy, “just do your best”, we are doing her a disservice.

Despite hundreds of years of parents using this phrase, “do your best” has never led to a satisfactory outcome. At best, it is confusing for a child, and at worst, it is an excuse not to perform at all. Ground-breaking research by Edwin Locke and Gary Latham (dating from around 1980 to 2005) repeatedly showed that encouraging people to do their best resulted in terrible outcomes. And the reason is simple.

Imagine we had this conversation with Amy:

Parent: I understand you’re reluctant, and you feel that you may lose. Let’s look at the problem in a different way. What’s your best time for the 100m?

Amy: 13.5 seconds.

Parent: How close do you think you could come to that time in this race?

Amy: I could probably get 13.9.

Parent: OK, so forget about the podium; let’s set our own goal for the race. If you beat 13.9, I’d say that was worth a bronze. If you beat 13.7, that would be a silver, and if you beat 13.5, that would be gold in my eyes no matter what the other runners do. Does that sound reasonable?

Amy: I could try.

Parent: And if you get a bronze, I’ll get you a burger and a shake. If you get a silver, I’ll get the take-out meal, plus you can skip your chores for this week. For a gold, you get all of the above, plus you get to stay up late one night this week – everything you’ve always wanted.

This scenario still encourages Amy to do her best, but it converts the fluffy, ephemeral, intangible “best” into something she can measure, she can understand, and she can anticipate. How do you know when you’ve “done your best”? What does it feel like? How do you measure it? It is such a loose target as to be worth nothing at all. One does not always need to convert the target into a number (especially for younger kids), but you could say, “Run till your legs hurt” – at least there is a measurement which they can gauge.

How does this translate to the workplace? Locke and Latham, who spent many years researching and refining the goal-setting theory, found that where people were given a “do your best” target, they performed poorly – without exception. If they were given a target, they performed better, and, in most cases, if they were given a difficult target, they performed best. It sounds counter-intuitive, but people (generally) like to be challenged and like to know that they can excel.

But setting high standards and tough goals could go very wrong if not done properly – and that’s the topic of the next blog. In the meantime, just stop saying “do your best”, especially for the sake of your child.

Locke, E. A., & Latham, G. P. (2002). Building a practically useful theory of goal setting and task motivation. A 35-year odyssey. American Psychologist, 57(9), 705–717. https://doi.org/10.1037//0003-066X.57.9.705

Change: moving from victim to agent

Change is difficult, uncomfortable and risky.

By definition, change involves doing something different. If you are sitting still, change means moving. If you are running, change means walking or running slower. It is doing what you are not currently doing – that seems simple enough. The problem is that most often it requires using more energy, it could require some using brainpower for planning and possibly some prediction of outcomes. All of this is more effort than sitting on a couch drinking a beer.

After the fifth beer, any human could be convinced that lethargy and inertia are the most appealing natural states for homo sapiens. It feels at times that it is physically impossible for our species to get off the couch and go for a 5-kilometre jog. But the fact that our species exists today when many others have become extinct is testament to our ability to change. Let’s look at the dynamics of change and try to understand how we can move from being unwilling victims of change to becoming predictors and masters of change.

Humans are designed to change

We, above all other animals, are the masters of change (whether we want to admit it or not). Scientists have spent hundreds of years understanding why homo sapiens flourished and dominated the animal kingdom when other species merely survived or vanished entirely. There are many reasons for this, but the human ability to adapt to change is among the most important.

On the plains of Africa, many aeons ago, our primitive ancestors were exposed to sudden, severe and long-lasting periods of climate change. Those instances climate change affected the amount of food available, where food could be found, it changed the habitable environment, and it altered the places where our forebears could find shelter.

We adapted to the changing environment by changing ourselves. We made “short term” adjustments to buy time for slower, genetic modifications to be made. Scientists call this adaptability our phenotypic plasticity. As the plains of Africa dried out and became hotter, our ancestors moved: they got off the couch, walked out of the dwindling forests and found food on the savannahs. They realised that they really did not need to climb trees as much as to walk on flat surfaces. Also, they needed to move fast in open spaces. Over time genetic mutation helped with this process, and we found ourselves tottering around on our hind legs.

We had the unique ability to survive the drastic changes long enough for our bodies to evolve to the ideal shape and structure. We identified an altered situation and changed. We detected a threatening environment and did what needed to be done to survive, and from survival came flourishing and ultimately, domination. This is probably not the right place to discuss how our species has abused our dominant position to destroy other species and our own habitat. But the point is that our ability to change is “part of our DNA” – as a species, it is what we are really good at doing. Monkeys clamber, cheetahs run fast, ants are strong and work hard, dogs are loyal, and humans adapt. Each of these actions accounts for the survival of the species, so whether we like it or not, we are destined to get off the couch and start moving.

We need to be uncomfortable to change

Most often, as on the plains of Africa, we need an external stimulus to start changing. We need to become uncomfortable. Our ability to sense change is quite good. Remember the story about a frog that quickly jumps out of a pot of hot water but comfortably sits in cold water that is heated very slowly until it is boiled alive? Well, that is actually nothing more than a myth, but it is a great story and has been used by many people to urge couch potatoes to get up and go. Sadly, with our environmental changes, it is becoming a very appropriate metaphor.

We need to detect the change, and we need to become uncomfortable enough to want to change.

There can be no better example of how to change on a global scale than the effects of the coronavirus. Within the span of a few months, the entire global population changed. From watching a disturbing health event from a safe distance to the manic purchases, self-isolation and a radical revision in the way we work, engage and live. Next time someone says “you can change the world” you better believe it. But this very swift, synchronised change required a few elements to work together. And each of these elements forms part of the formula for change.

D x V x F > R

“D” stands for Dissatisfaction with the current state. “Dissatisfaction” could range from being slightly concerned to (as in the case of COVID-19) totally petrified. These fears were propagated, amplified and reinforced by mainstream media, social media, governments and international bodies such as the World Health Organisation. In summary, the whole world knew minute-by-minute how the virus was spreading, and the fear was real as the threat crept closer to home. So, I think we can agree that “D” was fairly high.

“V” stands for Vision – the Vision of what a better future could look like if we change (and potentially what it could look like if we don’t). The graphs released by the WHO, the statistics broadcast by every channel of media and the images of swelling burial grounds made the negative vision crystal clear. Equally, the Vision of surviving, as a result of caution, spending time working from home and connecting with family encouraged people to have a positive vision. The Vision also requires a plan that can be easily enacted, and there were heaps of recommendations for isolation and working at distance.

“F” stands for the first steps you need to take in order to initiate the change. In the case of COVID-19 the message was simple, consistent and global: “Stay home” (although somehow a secondary message of “buy all the toilet paper you can see” got mixed up in the excitement!). One of the most basic elements of change is to break the size of the commitment required to change into small steps. All you need to do to avoid COVID-19 is to stay home. Nothing could be simpler. All you need to do to start becoming more active is to walk once around the house. All you need to do to stop smoking is to say to yourself “I don’t smoke” etc. In most cases, these are not the sum total of the required change, but they are small enough steps to make the next steps easier. Once you have movement, you have momentum. So, start small to change big.

The formula is an equation. The amount of Dissatisfaction multiplied by the Vision of your post-change world multiplied by the ease of the First steps have to be greater than the your “R” or Resistance to change. In other words, if you can’t see the benefits of change or you don’t feel the pressure to change or if there are no good reasons to get off the couch you will probably stay reclined, passive, fat and complacent. In the case of COVID-19, the formula was skewed by governmental decrees – no gatherings, no travel, enforced self-isolation. So, Resistance was futile. Sadly, governments cannot decree that you need to get off your couch and exercise. They can encourage you; they can try to educate people about the health risks of a sedentary lifestyle and the benefits of exercise, but they can only take the proverbial horse to water.

Resolutions that come true

Five steps to getting the most out of New Year’s resolutions

It is that time of year when the cosmos whispers a reminder that you should reflect on what you have done and look forward to another 12-month cycle. Here are some tips to make the most out of your New Year’s resolutions

It is New Year again – that went quickly! Like many people, I’m setting resolutions for the next year. Standing at the portal of a new year is an excellent place for reflection and anticipation. Somewhere between delight, denial and desperation lie last year’s resolutions and somewhere between dread and determination lie the goals for the new year. If you are used to setting resolutions that last no more than a week, or you are tired of them re-appearing on your list year after year with no progress, maybe it is time to do something a little differently.

Here are five requirements to ensure that anyone can successfully achieve resolutions.

Resolutions require time and space.

There’s a good reason why people always set their resolutions at New Year – they are usually on holiday. Away from work pressure and the noise of everyday living, they find a moment of silence in which to think. Time and space are required to get your brain to focus on yourself and what is important to you. You need to be able to switch off the noise and the distractions and just be grounded for a while. This can happen while floating in the sea, sitting under a tree or huddled around a fire.

The best results come from solitude, even if only for an hour or two. You’ll often feel most inspired when you are out of your regular routine, whether attending a workshop, conference, or a retreat. That is because you are telling yourself “this is a special time”. You are gearing up to think expansively and to forget the chores, routines and pressures of a typical workday. The fact that you have told yourself that this is a particular time allows your mind to wander and to block out intrusive and mundane thoughts. You have just given yourself permission to be creative and to slip momentarily into a zone of reflection. The same thing happens around New Year. You set aside time to think and reflect, and everyone around you gives you space and time to do this.

Around Christmas I can lock the door and say, “don’t come in!” and people will assume I am wrapping presents and leave me alone for hours! Much the same applies at New Year – it is your special time: claim it, protect it and insist on it. You’ll have to grant others the same luxury, but it may be the most important hour you spend all year.

2. Resolutions require perspective.

Now that you are alone and have wrestled an hour or two for yourself, you have a lot of thinking to do. Some call it daydreaming, others fantasizing – it requires a projection of yourself into a future state that allows you to imagine yourself in your ideal world. The best resolutions are ones that stem from a broader perspective. Not so much “what I want to achieve in the next 12 months” but rather “what I want to achieve in this life”. WOW that sounds scary and profound! It is, and it isn’t.

As with any major decision, the “little stuff” is easy to forget about if it is not linked to a higher purpose. For example, if you set a goal of “lose 5 kg” it makes more sense if you understand why you want to lose 5 kg. So, to quote Simon Sinek, start with the “why”. Maybe your goal should be to enjoy a healthier life or to live longer and to do that you could lose 5 kg and eat better. At least now you have an understanding of why the 5 kg matters and what the consequences are of not achieving the little goal.

Let’s start by writing down some BIG goals. These are things for your bucket list. These are things you want to achieve by the time you expire (if you get to choose when that is). To start, think about all aspects of your life such as family, career, health, wealth, leisure, education, charity, faith, environment, community. Now, jot down a few things you want to achieve in each category. Remember this does not all need to be completed in 12 months! Select those that matter most to you. An excellent exercise (I know it’s a bit morbid) is to write your own obituary; now that gives a lot of perspective! Now that you have some ideas about life goals, you also have the categories under which you can set shorter-term goals. Let’s break those BIG goals into what you think can realistically be achieved in the next five years.

Next, break the five-year goals into what you think can realistically be achieved in the next 12 months. Suddenly your goals have purpose and direction and a bigger plan to justify the little actions you need to perform each day. You’d be surprised at how few people have a set of life goals. It is not something that is cast in stone, obviously, things change, and you need to make adjustments, but at least you have a long-term perspective which can guide you. Imagine setting up life goals as a teenager – how much more direction your life would have.

3. Resolutions require accurate metrics.

“Metrics” is a terrible word. It sounds like the accountant is asking you to draw up a spreadsheet. It seems finite, pre-determined and immovable. Sorry, but a goal is only a goal if you know when you have achieved it. Let’s go back to our example above, if we say “lose some weight” then anything between complete starvation for a month and taking a good pee would qualify! Metrics help you measure. They help you track progress and allow you to celebrate when you have achieved your goal. There’s an old saying “you cannot manage what you cannot measure” – probably not by Mark Twain.

We all know that goals need to be SMART – Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Timebound. Some people add Evaluated and Reviewed to make SMARTER. Now, using the SMARTER methodology for each of your life-, five-year and 12-months goals could turn your fireside daydream into a massive undertaking! It could also drain the life out of you, spoil the moment and have you reaching for the eggnog. There will be time enough for embellishing your life goals, but in the short term just answer the following question for each of the goals you set for the next 12 months “how will I know when I have achieved this goal?” This does not need to be a number. It could be a feeling, it could be changed behaviour, and it could also be a number. “Greet my co-workers every day” is a metric – it is something you can tick off. At some point in the next four weeks set yourself a task of compiling that dreaded, massive table with more detailed metrics for every goal on your bucket list. Save it and keep a printed copy somewhere visible.

4. Resolutions require integration.

What you think, what you do, how you behave, how you feel all form part of you. And you, in turn, form part of several systems around you; your family, your workplace, your relationships in the community – the list could be endless. You are a part of a greater system which is why we used the categories earlier to set life goals. Each of the groups has at least one system of which you form part. If you complete the sentence “I am a…” you could add many words: mother, student, caregiver, adult, accountant, runner, athlete, artist, thinker, leader, patient, and so on. Each of these represents a system in your world.

Our resolutions have an impact on ourselves, and on each of the systems we interact with. Each of these systems has its own goals, and we play a particular role in each system, and there are expectations of us in each role. If I am a father, then there is a range of expectations of me in that role and in that system. My goals may include being a better father by spending X number of hours a day with my daughter. This goal needs to be integrated with her expectations, availability, proximity etc. The point is that we do not exist in a vacuum, and neither should our goals. Share your goals with those who they will affect. Discuss your goals with the people from whom you will need support. Ask for feedback from those closest to you and explain the BIG goals that inspired the little ones. This will help get everyone on board and may inspire others in various networks to consider their own objectives and direction.

5. Resolutions require change.

Some people may be on track with their life goals and may be working steadily towards their mission in life. For most of us, our current state is somewhat removed from our ideal state, and we realise that we need to make adjustments, we need to change. My next blog post is all about why it is so difficult to change. It is enough to say here that we cannot expect a different outcome by doing the same things we have always done. For most people, change is not easy, and they avoid it at all costs. There are also thousands of clichés about change which I will not repeat. Suffice to say that change will not go away and that perfect stasis simply does not exist. To achieve our goals, we need to change. If change is a constant (sorry), then we had better start developing a “change literacy”. Look back at your goals and think about how much change each requires. If the answer is “not much, just keep doing what you are doing” you should be worried, or you have selected either the wrong goal or the wrong metric.

That’s it – well done. You now have a list of things to change in the next 12 months with an additional horizon of five years and a set of or life goals. Not bad for two hours on the beach. You may have missed out on a game of golf, but you may also have changed your life and got a great tan.

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